A guest Blog by Kristen.M :
Sitting in a breakfast nook with my client, Dan, who suffers from dementia, I couldn’t get this old piece of motivational wisdom out of my head.
“Wherever you are . . .”
Dan is in his 70s. His memory stirs like a pile of dust when asked to think about the present, but it always settles back into the comforting recollection of his home up north and hiking in the high Sierras. For Dan, that is all of the present his mind can muster.
My thoughts are scattered in several directions: Dan’s workout that has been stalled by his lack of breakfast, home, work, research, family, car repair, moving health insurance, dishes, dinner . . . .there is no settling of dust, just clusters of discordant to-dos.
But here we are, enjoying a cup of coffee in the breakfast nook of an assisted living facility, a home for people just like Dan, people in a time out of place out of time.
I’m a personal trainer. I work with Dan twice a week; he walks, lifts medium/light weights, stretches, and performs balance exercises. I weave mental challenges throughout these workouts. Sometimes memory improves short term, sometimes not. But Dan’s mood is always bright and cheery, and he always greets with with a big smile even though he may not remember my name that day.
Working with Dan has taught me a great deal about what we health and wellness practitioners hope to achieve. We are not simply drill sergeants, pushing clients beyond boundaries for the sake of pushing. (We would not have many 50+ clients if we did that!). We are not counselors. We are not just yogis or coaches, although we may incorporate elements from all of these styles into the completeness of our work.
We work on a deeply personal, yet professional level, with people who need understanding, guidance, knowledge, and just the right amount of motivation to become healthier, happier individuals.
I used to think that one of the most important things I could do for Dan was encourage him that he could get stronger (he has), more flexible (definitely), and that perhaps in working on his memory and improving his blood flow, he could also notice changes in his memory (he has in the long term).
But sometimes life gets in the way and we don’t finish everything, or his memory is not as great as it was the other day, or he is particularly distracted. It’s easy for me to become overwhelmed by the upheaval of plans.
Yet, as I sit with Dan, enjoying a simple cup of coffee in a simple breakfast nook, I allow this checklist of concerns to dissolve, to be recollected at a later time.
The most important thing I can do for Dan right now, the one thing he would appreciate most, is for me to enjoy his company.
“Wherever you are, be there.”
Kristin